I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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