I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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