So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Green mimosas i think yes
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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