she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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