God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
