The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
