why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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