Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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