even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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