my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
