they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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