I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
