And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
