I wish I could punch you in the face.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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