Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
