I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
