she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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