would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
you never un-have a 4some
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
