they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
