I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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