They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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