You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
apparently the secret to your success is patron
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
