I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
