C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
