I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
