i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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