I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you will always have a special place in my vag
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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