i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My penis needs a shock collar
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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