Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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