It's Friday. Sex?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
