how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
