I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
