thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
