We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
