Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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