just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
