no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
