This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sober January is a disaster.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
