Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
