did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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