dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
