So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
