My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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