I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
