Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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