thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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