I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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