his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
