Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
