She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
