Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i think my cat just said my name.
I just want to make out with him forever
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
