is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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