Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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