4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
