At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
