i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
