I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
