Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
